Self Confidence with Photos

Self Confidence with Photos

Lets just get real here, self confidence is beautiful.  

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Not everyone can pull this look off though.  As a photographer it is my job to help my client to feel confident, beautiful, handsome, or sexy depending on what your session is about.  The main feeling I want my client to have is confidence during their session.  When they feel confident the end result is a better photo and remembering that feeling when they look at their photos.

Take it from me, a girl that went from weighing 150 to 280 pounds, self confidence was not my forte let alone jumping in front of the camera.  When a picture was taken of me the first thing I would see is all my flaws….look at my double chin, GOD IM SO FAT!

BUT WAIT! In today’s society, the outward appearance is what we base our self confidence though.

 

WRONG!!!!

Yes, that is one part of having confidence, feeling and accepting your body the way it is.  Seriously though, what I am learning is it is so much more than just your body image.

A good friend of mine just told me that she loved to see how confident I am getting..???? wait, but I still haven’t lost weight and I haven’t seen you in a couple months…how the heck am I getting any more confident than I was before?

SELF CONFIDENCE = BELIEVING IN YOUR SELF AND YOUR ABILITIES

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How does this translate into Photos?   One of the hardest photo shoots, yet most rewarding, is the boudoir shoot.  Where a man, woman, or couple become vulnerable to their audience.  If the photographer is not confident in their abilities their clients will feel it as well.

As a client you can….

The number one thing your can do to help is to get to know your photographer and let them get to know you.    It is so important to get to know your photographer.  What they like in general and about themselves, so that way you can help them relax and have fun with the photo shoot.

With boudoir shoots, as a client you are exposed.  If you are not confident or comfortable in their photographer the session will be awkward and more importantly the final product will not be flawless.  A photo is meant to evoke emotion and take the person to that time and relive that experience, so your photo might be the sharpest, most beautiful display of your client, however if you remember feeling less confident than you should that is what they will remember.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty….

It comes down to the fact that you are beautiful both inside an out.  Your inside make up is beautiful, so regardless if you weigh 120 pounds or 300 pounds does not play into affect at all.  Look deep inside you, what are you passionate about? What do you enjoy doing the most? What are you good at?

Here is a doozy….WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR BODY?

Next time you look at a picture of yourself, regardless of what type of photo it is, take the time to see the good in yourself.  How your eyes light up, how you smile, how soft your skin looks, how much you enjoyed doing the shoot, how awesome your hair looked.  Once you have noticed the good about your physical aspects, start looking at the picture in thinking of all the good things that your able to do, be apart of, how much you are loved and how much you love others, how you help others.

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Looking in the Mirror

Looking in the Mirror

The the hardest thing to do is to look at yourself even though we see ourselves everyday; in the mirror, on social media, or the million selfies we need to take to get the perfect one.  I know what I see in the mirror isn’t really what others see because of my self perception.  Call it low self esteem, call it low self worth, call it whatever you want; the fact of the matter is most people can see the outside of me.  The single mom with a decent car, decent job, little place in the country, doing it on her own.  Most categorize that as being strong and independent.  What people don’t see is truly what makes a person who they are…the inside.

Today was one of the toughest days in my recovery so far.  I had to have this hard conversation with my sponsor.  I don’t want to leave her, but my needs were not being met.  Before I approached her though I did a lot of looking at me, my actions and behaviors.  I needed to know what was I doing to cause this disconnect.  As we all know everything starts and ends with me, so I can’t totally put this issue on her. 
As our conversation started flowing there was a lot of emotions that have been trapped inside me that came out.  Although we didn’t come up with when I was going to schedule more time with her because at this point I need some attention in my recovery or the fact that I’m being held on a step that in our literature states we should not hesitate on doing this step…and that was the point of the conversation. I really hate confrontation.


I say all this to come to a place where looking in the mirror is more than just the outside appearance which is 9 times out of 10, a facade.  The most painful things about me are harbored deep within me.  I am so afraid to let anyone see me as anything less than perfect.  That I have spent my whole life saying I do not want to be like my mom, yet those character defects that she possesses are what is ingrained in me so deeply, which makes it so hard to accept myself as well as her. The fact that, if I am not a good at everything, that I don’t show you that I am doing the work, then I won’t get your approval.  

After all we all just want to be accepted and liked.

I guess once we really see ourselves for who we are; good, bad, or indifferent there is only one thing that can be done…change I must or die I will.  Maybe not die on a literal sense, but there is a death that can happen on the inside or even spiritual death that can be just as painful as the real thing.  It can drag you to this place and keep you there…out of fear, out of denial, out of not wanting to do what has to be done.  Believe me I know I’ve been there both in and out of recovery.

I wish I could see what others do.  Maybe then I would be able to say that I like myself more than what I do.  Don’t get it wrong,  I like myself a little, but I don’t accept myself.  Today, right now, it’s going to be a long road to change what I need to change to become the person I have always wanted to be and God intended me to be.  It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it.


To the person reading this…that can relate…not just to the real life situation, but the pain of being this person that is struggling to be who they always wanted to be:  You are not alone.  I am here with you and maybe we can do this together.